The Communal Agreement to Heal
Focus: Defining Restorative Practices Beyond Justice.
Key Takeaway: Restorative Practices (R.P.) are not just a post-crime justice intervention; they are an age-old communal approach to building relationships and dealing with conflict before and during its escalation, making them a tool for daily life.
For many people, the term "Restorative Justice" conjures an image of a serious meeting: a victim, an offender, and a mediator, all sitting down after a crime has occurred. While that image is part of the work, it's just the tip of the iceberg. At ManUcan Consulting, we want to shift that perception.
Restorative Practices (R.P.) are far more than a post-crime intervention. They are an age-old communal approach—a living philosophy and a set of practical tools designed to build strong relationships, manage conflict proactively, and restore the dignity of everyone involved.
1. Moving Beyond the Punitive Mindset
To understand R.P., we must first recognize the deeply embedded punitive mindset in our society. This mindset asks three questions:
What rule was broken?
Who broke it?
What punishment is deserved?
This focus on rules, blame, and punishment often increases shame and isolation, which are detrimental to recovery and community. ManUcan Consulting's mission is to counter this by embracing the restorative mindset, which asks different questions:
Who was harmed?
What are their needs?
Whose obligation is it to meet those needs?
How can we involve all parties in repairing the harm?
The distinction is clear: The restorative approach focuses on repair and responsibility, not on shame and isolation.
2. R.P. as a Tool for Daily Life (Before Conflict)
The most powerful form of Restorative Practice is often the one that prevents conflict from escalating in the first place. This is where R.P. becomes a proactive communal agreement to build strength and connection.
Building Social Capital
Restorative Practices help build social capital—the networks, relationships, and trust that enable communities to function effectively. When relationships are strong, people are more willing to hold each other accountable and repair harm when it occurs.
Community-Building Circles: These are structured dialogues used in homes, schools, and workplaces to share values, build trust, and understand one another on a deeper level. They are used to connect, not to correct.
Affective Statements: These are simple "I feel..." statements that link another person's behavior directly to your feelings (e.g., "I feel frustrated when you arrive late because I worry about your safety"). This technique increases empathy and immediate accountability in a non-blaming way.
3. R.P. During Conflict Escalation
When conflict arises, Restorative Practices offer specific language that de-escalates tension and guides a conversation toward repair. This is where the Skilled Facilitator uses the core Restorative Questions to shift focus from the past to the future:
Instead of: "Why did you do that?" (which often generates a defensive response)
Ask: "What were you thinking about at the time?" or "What happened?"
These questions create space for the person who caused the harm to take ownership and for the person harmed to articulate their needs and regain their agency.
4. Restoring Agency: The ManUcan Mission
The central value of Restorative Practices, which aligns perfectly with our work in Lifestyle Recovery Coaching, is the restoration of agency.
For the Harmed: R.P. restores agency by giving the harmed party a voice in the outcome and a role in defining what repair looks like. This counters the isolation and powerlessness often felt after being harmed.
For the Harming: R.P. restores agency by shifting the focus from passive punishment to active responsibility. By participating in the repair process, the person who caused the harm restores their own dignity and begins the necessary work of restitution.
Restorative Practices provide a framework for individuals (including those who are justice-impacted, like me) to integrate back into the community not as a burden, but as a resource for healing and growth.
A New Communal Agreement
Restorative Practices, at their core, are a communal agreement: an understanding that we are all interconnected, that harm affects the whole, and that we all have an obligation to resolve conflict and repair relationships. It’s a philosophy that restores personal dignity, increases community bonds, and decreases isolation—the very core of the ManUcan Consulting mission.iting here...